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Centerpointe Research

honesty

Being Self-Objective

It is very scarey when you realize that the people around you, especially the people in positions of power, are not being honest with themselves let alone other people.  Realistic self-confidence is healthy, but unrealistic self-confidence is dangerous not only for the person who has it but also for others.  The best source of knowledge a person can have is that of persons including him or herself who are willing and able to tell a person the truth no matter how unsettling.  People make mistakes; they make the wrong decisions; they overlook a vital necessary fact or source of information; and they are afraid to admit it because of the feared consequences.  People around this person collude with them because they fear the power and authority that person wields.  The higher up you go the more likely this is to happen.

This can happen in psychology and psychiatry when professionals are making (sometimes) life or death decisions.  One theory of psychotherapy is to help a person to be more honest with themselves and to be more open and honest about what they do and why they do it.  If the therapist can’t be a role model for the patient, he or she is either a fake and/or feels very insecure in the position that they have put themselves in.  No one is a saint and the person most likely to admit this is a person who others would call a saint.  The problem is that viewing the practice of psychology or psychiatry as a business does not promote the career of a mental health professional who develops wisdom and with it the requisite self-knowledge.  Materialism and the welding of power have been made more important than promoting the health and happiness of mankind.

In a perverse way, lack of self-confidence can promote dishonesty and deception.  People can make wrong decisions in an attempt to prove that they are the one in power.  They may have made a mistake but can or will not admit it and then it requires that they implement other equally wrong decisions to support the idea that they were right about the first decision or decisions

Confidence and Paranoia

Confidence and Paranoia (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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Be Yourself, Love Yourself

DWIL

Honesty is the best policy!  The more lies you tell, including white lies, the bigger the chance that you will get tripped up.  I am not suggesting that you expose yourself and leave yourself wide open for scam artists and others who would misuse your information.  If they’re not someone you would consider a friend or a close family member, you don’t owe them your life history and current credit score.  Just kidding.

It is refreshing to just be able to be yourself with somebody.  You are not necessarily trying to convert them to your point of view nor are they trying to convert you to theirs.  You can even discuss religion and politics without having a fight.  You can be open about mistakes you have made now or in the past.  You can talk about your future hopes no matter how silly they might sound to someone else.  You can talk for hours.

This often happens at a time in your life when you have become more realistic and realize that everyone is not perfect nor should they have to be.  The more honest you become with yourself, the more likely you will be able to love and accept yourself.  It often happens when you no longer worship idols like money and fame.  Treat yourself like you would like to be treated.  Take loving care of yourself.  If you don’t, you won’t be able to keep on taking care of others.

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Gunnysacking

gunny sack

gunny sack (Photo credit: chuck_heston)

In case you don’t know what a gunnysack is, it is an old fashioned name for a rough woven burlap bag used to hold  things like large amounts of potatoes.  Gunnysacking is a term for what people do when they feel they have unthinkingly been hurt by someone and they collect these slights in their imaginary gunnysack until they are ready to dump them on the person who they think is responsible for the making these slights.

An important part of this activity is that the person who gets dumped on generally is not aware of what they have done so they can also be labeled as insensitive by the gunnysacker.  Also it is important to note that the person keeping track of these unacknowledged hurts does not initially speak up about them.  What is behind this is that he or she feels that the person involved knows that they are taking advantage of them and continues to accept their help selfishly instead of being considerate and letting them off the hook.

Having had a particular gunnysack dumped on me one time made a very strong impression on me.  As a result, I became very cautious about having someone do something for me no matter how nicely they offered.  I felt that I would rather do something by myself than have someone think that I took advantage of them and not find out until later.  In a sense, I, like the person who held these things  against me in the past, was not being  totally honest when I said I didn’t need help.

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