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judging others

Passing Judgment Versus Discernment

judge-not-discernmentDiscernment is deciding what is right or wrong for yourself; passing judgment is deciding what is right or wrong for others.  Do we put our noses in everybody’s business?  Can you pass by people without some critical, negative thought about them coming through your mind.  Worse yet, are you passing judgment on yourself before somebody else does it.  There always is some flaw or fault we can find in ourselves or others.

Giving advice comes naturally but for what purpose?  Do we want to make ourselves feel good?  To say what the other person is thinking of us before they get to say it in a way that will be even more self damaging for us.  Advice needs to be  lightly given with no expectation of acceptance.  Not to make a bad situation worse by interfering in someone’s life.  It makes us feel more powerful but to what end?

Do you ever pass judgment on yourself and utter it in a self effacing way, before someone else does it.  You try to say what the other person is thinking before they get to say it in a way that will be even more damaging than if you said it.  Joking and making fun of oneself is an example of this.  This can lead into your faults becoming the source of jokes for others to make about you to put you down; but the catch twenty two is the comment that is always made if you don’t laugh with them, “What’s the matter can’t you take a joke. ”

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Should You Make Your Own Commandments?

Seven Deadly Sins by Rox Steady

Seven Deadly Sins by Rox Steady (Photo credit: dingler1109)

Seven Deadly Sins by Rox Steady
Seven Deadly Sins by Rox Steady

Seven Deadly Sins by Rox Steady (Photo credit: dingler1109)

Seven Deadly Sins by Rox Steady

Seven Deadly Sins by Rox Steady (Photo credit: dingler1109)

Seven Deadly Sins by Rox Steady

Seven Deadly Sins by Rox Steady (Photo credit: dingler1109)

Seven Deadly Sins by Rox Steady

Seven Deadly Sins by Rox Steady (Photo credit: dingler1109)

You have heard of the ten commandments.  There are also the seven deadly sins:  pride, greed, envy, lust, sloth, gluttony, and wrath which go even further.  Have you set standards for yourself as well as others.  It is easier

Seven Deadly Sins by Rox Steady

Seven Deadly Sins by Rox Steady (Photo credit: dingler1109)


to develop a set of standards for others to follow than to create standards of your own.  You can usually identify those that you set for others by paying attention to what “makes” you angry or feels unfair or by identifying what you would like others to do (knowing at some level) that this would make life easier for you.

In moral development, establishing a set of standards of your own for yourself is one of the later stages.  You can identify the origin of some of these by what you think you “should” do.  These are sometimes “guilted” on you by others.  What can you do make them your own?  This requires some introspection on your part.  If you don’t like something another person has done, do you feel it is right for you to do this?  Judging others reveals what we are afraid might be judged in ourselves.  It also reveals the areas where we might expect better of ourselves and the standards we might set for ourselves.  Do you think that you could be an example for others?  Shouldn’t you judge both yourself and others by the same standards?  Better yet, maybe you better clean up the messes in your own back yard instead of complaining about your neighbor’s.

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Omission vs. Commission

English: Truth-Telling Boy Barnstar

English: Truth-Telling Boy Barnstar (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Children seem to learn how to lie at a very young age.  I don’t know which comes first, sins of omission versus sins of commission.  At some point, it becomes very convenient to avoid telling the truth or to not tell the truth at all and lie instead.  Lying is something we learn to do by imitating the behavior of others.  It is also something we learn to do when we fear the consequences of telling the truth.

It would be nice if telling the truth was something which came naturally and comfortably in the appropriate situation.  Some things we feel more comfortable telling others and other things we may feel less comfortable telling others.   One of the problems with telling the truth is that others might judge us based on what we say.  Also controlling others’ behaviors is often an overriding concern of some people and the penalty for telling the truth is that other people will think badly of them.  Parents sometimes make the mistake of caring more about what other people might think than they do about their own children’s feelings.

Generally we know inside when we are deliberately keeping the truth from someone and when we really don’t have to share.  If you come right out and tell the truth freely in every situation, not everyone values the truth and respects those who tell it.

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