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living together

Wrong Reasons for Getting Together

Most people learn how to date and how to get married by making mistakes and hopefully learning from them.  Establishing some guidelines would keep people from making so many mistakes ( some of which can be costly).  One mistake is thinking that you have to have a girlfriend or boyfriend and/or get married by a certain age.  Another is thinking that if someone asks you out or to marry them that you should say yes because you may not get another chance or the fear that no one else will ask you and you should take what you can get.  Not everyone has such low self esteem as to feel that way; but there are some people who may decide to get married because they don’t want to live on their own.  These people know that they can’t stay with mom and dad forever and they need to find someone to live with and take care of them for the rest of their lives.  If children were encouraged to live on their own for awhile after they finished school, to find a job to support themselves, and to move out of their family home into an apartment or house of their own, they might be better prepared for to be in a relationship or marriage when they did decide to make a home of their own.  Women used  to solve the question of what to do for the rest of their lives by getting married and becoming housewives.  At that time a lot of marriages took place right after women graduated from high school or college as school was considered a good place to find a mate.  Some people use marriage ( often aided by an accidental  pregnancy) to escape from one bad situation (usually a bad home life) into what is also another bad situation.  Knowing how to take care of yourself and waiting for the right person, not just anyone who presents themselves, makes the most sense.  Having a living together arrangement instead of a marriage leads to making the same or worse mistakes as getting married; because people often make the decision to live together much earlier in the relationship than they would make the decision to get married. How many people do you know that have said that right after they met so and so they moved in together? Few people marry someone just after meeting them, but they will live together.

Marriage in America in 2010

Marriage in America in 2010 (Photo credit: GEEKSTATS)

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