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Centerpointe Research

not talking

Things You Are Not To Talk About

not.talkThings you are not to talk about keep you in a prison of silence.  There are things you don’t share with others.  It can be a burden to carry these things alone and to whose advantage is this?  Probably it was to the advantage of the person who taught you not to talk about these things.  Yes, they probably told you that they were telling you this for your own good.   If fact, they may have implied that they and only they can tolerate you and even they don’t want to hear certain things from you.  These are things  which you will not talk about if you want to be loved and accepted by them.

When it comes to abuse, it is the things you are taught not to talk about that keep you, if you are the abuse victim, from stopping the abuse.  Abusers often use this ploy to get you (the one who is being abused)  to believe that others will reject or punish you if you talk about the abuse and that the abusers can cause harm to you or your family if you talk about the abuse.  There is no way to know if this will happen or not if you don’t tell somebody.

Take a moment and make a list of things that you are not to talk about.  It will tell you a lot about you and the people who influenced your life.  Low self-esteem is fostered by the idea that you really are a failure and/or a bad person and if someone else found this out, they would reject you.  This is one of the most important aspects of therapy being able to tell another person anything without losing their support.

embarassingquestionsI am not talking to you about this in order to make you a compulsive truth teller.  I believe that you have a right to choose what information that you will share with others.  There are people out there that will ask you some very embarrassing questions and for information about you that you don’t need to share with them; but who are you protecting and why?  Are there people in your life that you can and should share this information with?  Is it causing you more stress to keep this information to yourself than it would to be to finally get it off your chest?


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