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patience

Rash Judgment?

A Different Church Building

A Different Church Building (Photo credit: justshootingmemories)

When my three children were very young, just toddlers, I had trouble controlling them in church as I only had “two hands” and I brought them to church by myself (and sat at the back of the church so as to cause the least amount of disruption).  After church I was shanghaied in the women’s restroom by an older woman from church (of course I still had my children with me)  and told how when she had brought her children to church when they were little that they sat still and were very quiet like she had taught them to be.  She said that her children had also grown up to be extremely successfully linking her having kept her children quiet in church to their growing up that way.  Another lady even joined in and agreed with her.  I went home feeling miserable and like not going back to the church after being treated that way.  I felt that nobody there saw that bringing them to church at their age by myself was an accomplishment in itself.  That afternoon, the lady in the restroom, who contributed her comments when I was being criticized by the other lady, called me up and sincerely apologized for any upset she might have caused me.  I did go back to church after that.  This could lead to another discussion on forgiveness; but I think I am done.

Patience that day was in short supply not only on the other woman’s side, but also on my side as a mother.  Both of  us were easily riled.  For me it started while I was trying to get us ready.  It never failed, but at least one of us would require a complete change of clothing before leaving the house.  This was after everybody had gotten dressed once for church.  Toddlers are also notorious for doing something “bad” while your attention is otherwise directed, in this case, by two other toddlers.

The lady in church was a little-bit short-sighted and also lacking in patience.  I understand that it is hard to hear the sermon when babies are crying and toddlers are screaming.  Should mothers of young children stop going to church until their children are bigger?  Children also can also be a distraction when they head down the aisle towards the altar on their own.  Do you abandon the other children?  Capture him or her and take him or her out of church to be chastized?  I remember it well.  Now it is my grandchildren doing this.

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Patience for the Next Generation

Funny Grandparents At Play Sign

Funny Grandparents At Play Sign (Photo credits: www.smartsign.com)

Ever lose your patience?  It can easily happen especially when it is someone else’s kids that are causing a disturbance.  Children require a lot of patience.  They are not very quiet nor do they stay very still.  Sometimes the longer it has been since someone has had kids, the less patient they are when they have to put up with someone else’s kids.  Mood changes, screams. crying can all be expected from young children.  The longer it has been since you have had children, sometimes the less tolerant you become.

Children require patience.  When extended families lived together, at least, people knew what to expect from small children.  Now people can live in complexes where children are not allowed except to visit and maybe not even then. For example, these places can be for seniors or singles only.  In this case, absence does not make the heart grow fonder.  What is amazing is that the seniors may have raised children of their own and the singles may have or have had younger brothers and sisters.  It is easy to forget what it was like to live with children.

Raising children is a noisy and frequently disruptive process,  Unless you have a live-in nanny or a daycare setting that will keep your child all hours of the day and night, you sometimes or all the time have to deal with them entirely on your own.  No one is a saint, especially when it comes to raising children, and if they tell you that they had an easy time of it and their children were angels, bring out the lie detector (just kidding).

Patience is the primary ingredient needed to grow a good crop of children for the next generation.  They explore, they learn, and they grow.  Yes, we have to keep them safe and teach them how to get along with others while at the same time letting them do what they need to do to grow up with the most potential. There is always hope as the next grandparents are created with the birth of their children’s children and they discover that their grand children are fascinating and that almost any of their grand children’s behaviors can be accounted for as just their little darlings being upset and that they couldn’t help what they did.

 

 

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