It’s Been There All Along
INTUITION
When I got in trouble in grade school, it began with defiant anger and ended with a waterfall of tears. The swing went from one mood to the other. Quite a big change. I would go home having been in trouble in school again. I did not tell my parents this of course (because I would get in trouble again) and hid or destroyed the notes that were sent home with me. Good thing there weren’t computers and cell phones then. I love you Dear Jesus but you couldn’t keep me from getting in trouble again. It didn’t matter how ashamed I felt or the amount of snot that my nose rubbed on my upper arms and sleeves. There it happened again. I just couldn’t help getting in trouble again. I remember sitting on a church bench or folding chair while my parents talked to my teacher about my bad behavior. I just couldn’t help getting into trouble. And that would be about in third grade.!
It wasn’t long before it became a hopeless or helpless situation. “Trouble” was my name and teachers tried to keep me busy to keep me out of trouble. I had no trouble with the schoolwork and became bored while the teachers endlessly drilled the students who couldn’t get it. I was imaginative and ingenious. I read endlessly and finished the school libraries in each of my classrooms. I loved art and once left cupids I created for a Valentine’s day display with bare spots between their legs. I had to redo them and put ribbons down there. I also remember being given the
Wechsler Intelligence Test For Children in grade school. I guess because they couldn’t figure me out any other way.
At the spritely age of 76, that has been a long time to be Bipolar altering periods of manic behavior with periods of depression to put it simply. I never thought of myself as bipolar as my first glimpses of Manic-Depressives were in the State Hospital working summers in college in the state hospital. Bipolar wasn’t a popular word until long after I finished graduate school. The behavior of Manic-Depressives was much more exaggerated than what consists of manic behavior now or depressive behavior now. My second summer at the state hospital, we had a man at the ward who was manic-depressive. He pinched one of the nurse’s large boobs to see if they were real. When he was depressive, he regressed into himself and did nothing in group therapy. It was then his wife took him home as that was normal behavior for her husband.
For me, my “manic state” was being outgoing and/or up. Then I had no trouble speaking to strangers by making a glib or funny remark. When I was depressed, I wanted to be left alone and I didn’t want to talk to anybody. They already had their chances to talk to me before I became depressed. See this post of mine, Been
Down So Long, It Seems Like Up To Me. When I was “Up”, I just thought I was being outgoing. I thought that I was just trying to cheer somebody up. For a long time until recently I thought that I was just depressed. Later on, I discovered I was a victim of sexual abuse and that was why I had been afraid of the dark.
I did not learn until recently that I was bipolar and that I had symptoms that fit that diagnosis. I am continuing to explore the bipolar dianosis.
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Good And Evil Revisited, Part 3
I am sorry that I am a little bit behind. I had surgery and it took me a little bit of time to recover.
Evil has no compunction against saying those who are Good are beneath them and are stupid, ignorant, and easily manipulated by both sides when Evil masquerades as “Good”.
Unfortunately, some of the Good are really part of the Evil ones and only are pretending to be “Good” so they are able to accomplish Evil things. This happens when values deteriorate from concern with doing Good only and with helping others in need of salvation or in need of having their basic needs met. 
See Maslow’s basic hierarchy of needs. Perhaps a social need is for a church to have their worship in a cathedral so everyone can see how well they are doing in their search to glorify God. Also they “need” a bigger church to safely accommodate their large congregation which is a safety need in the hierarchy. This can often subvert the direction of a church i.e. from housing or feeding the poor to building on to their church unnecessarily. 
Many feel good for example when they have a showplace of a church like a Cathedral. Are they actually “Good” or are they approaching being Evil? i.e. “Look at me. Look at my church.”
A Concerned Pastor, Might He Have This Problem In His Church?
For example, have you ever even a woman or a man entering a church with a scowl on their face and they appear ready to criticize something at any moment. In the long run, such people may eventually split the church over doctrine or acceptable values which they piously conceive as Godly.
Hugging, even shaking hands, or friendly greetings to strangers are not present in these churches and it appears that these members of the congregation would appear very uncomfortable doing these things. Attire is either formal or does not permit certain hairstyles and types of clothing especially not wearing shoes or hats or head coverings which the disciples didn’t do. In some places, people think that they can’t go to church because they have nothing to wear, clothes that are threadbare or shoes that are scuffed and worn and either too little or too big. If I stay home on Sunday due to my disabilities acting up, I do not have to dress up. I do catch at least one sermon on TV when I do that.
Values are deteriorating to fame and recognition, power, wealth, and a much higher standard of living including gold faucets providing high-value items, more opportunities, and living in restricted areas. Also, such people might have multiples of items where an ordinary person might only need just one or a few. There might be a corner on the market of beautiful things even by the most of those who consider themselves “Good.” For example, the price of a fine thing can match a working person’s salary for one year.
Where do you go when you have done everything and seen everything? Do you consider other people evil because you think they have not worked hard enough to get to the place where they can look down on others like themselves? Reading the Bible and applying what it says possibly goes by the wayside unless there are some books of the Bible or some particular verses that match what these people righteously think. Was the Bible meant to be read in all its parts and also applied in all its parts? Probably. But when an effort is made to read and apply the values presented here, such an effort is acceptable. There are other volumes which elucidate a value system but they must be evaluated by the heart and not just the mind.
Who do you look up to? Does what they do and think to justify following them. Most of us have a conscience and we know when we are doing what we know somewhere deep inside it is not right. Too often we don’t speak up because we have the idea that other people are better qualified or more powerful than us. (See my post on The Little People.) This is the reason for a democracy. You have the right to vote. Use it. I will make an independent vote for governor this fall as I consider neither the current Republican Governor or the Democratic candidate for governor worthy. I hope enough of us poor little voters will do this to make our opinion known. We do not want to be ruled by Chicago which we would be in Illinois if we voted for a Democrat or if we reelected the current governor who has the state broke, that probably wouldn’t change. If you are in Illinois, vote for the independent Kash Jackson and show the state that many of us do not want either the Republican nor the Democratic candidate.
Values in the discussion of Good and Evil, do no good unless you live them even if it is difficult. Do you have your own mission statement declaring what your purpose in life is and how to follow it? Also please remember fighting within the Church most often is a grab for power; the righteous have different concerns. The same type of things goes on in corporations. Only even more complex. Have you ever been asked to do something basically illegal at work? Would you give up your job for your values?
The Devil Made Me Do It
Haven’t you heard that before? Is it really the devil or are there self-defeating thought patterns that cause you to make a mistake, a big mistake.
Then when you are fired, have a traffic accident for which you are considered to be a fault, or blow it somehow and lose a relationship, you are initially entirely mystified as to how you could have fallen into that predicament and until the shock wears off, you are thinking, “Hey, what did I get into? How did that happen? Who, me?”
When the initial blankness wears off, next you face the consequences which can be overwhelming. “Me, how did I get pregnant?” “How will it change my life?” “What happened to my car?” “Is anyone hurt besides possibly me? Will I lose my license? How will I ever find another job with this on my record?”
Decisions may also have to be made at the moment which you might or might not regret later. You can possibly become defensive and whatever the consequences of your decisions you can and will defend them. You can then can become “Mr. or Ms. Neverever Wrong” and this too can prevent you from learning from your mistakes.
You may also have to come to some conclusions which you may regret later. Did you intend to do it or did the devil make you do it? You don’t have to be Christian to think this, but it helps. You may say that you won’t have any regrets because whatever happened, it wasn’t your fault and get yourself lost in denial even if it is not what actually is found to have happened. Sometimes reality can become really, really hazy when this happens.
You can see how your self-concept can keep you from seeing or acknowledging your mistakes and how valuable life lessons can be lost this way. Recently I had a conflict with a friend and lost my relationship with her. I didn’t know it at the time that the heat was getting to her worse than I knew and I was more concerned about my own ability to handle it. I learned, as much as I didn’t like it, that I was not acknowledging the signs she was giving me about her own deteriorating physical wellbeing.
I had had a long-ago lesson ( that pertains to the above situation) where an aunt of my husband’s who was helping me get my baby to the doctor in a far away city didn’t really want to do it and I learned that she really wanted me to read her mind when she said, “Yes” and she really meant, “No”. I was hurt when I found out that she felt I had taken advantage of her and was mad about it.
My husband’s aunt got really mad at me like my friend was when she had heat prostration. I learned that I had to read minds and therefore read between the lines when I was in certain situations even when I was not told something. It initially exasperated me, but I eventually got the hint. It was a very expensive lesson when I also learned that my friend and also a close friend of hers were very mad at me and did not want to communicate with me. Again they felt that I had taken advantage of her and was insensitive.
I certainly was part of the problem; but what if I considered that the devil made me do it. I am sure he would be happy creating conflict among people and making them behave less like a Christian. In the Lord’s prayer is the line,”and lead us not into temptation”. We need to keep on our guard as hurt feelings and confusion are a potentially bad mix. It has caused me a lot of grief. Can you conceive of the devil enjoying this?. I can think that is what God meant when he gave Christians this part of the Lord’s Prayer.
For a long time I was very rational about this part of the Lord’s Prayer and I didn’t think I needed pray it because I always knew what I was doing; but then sometime’s I made some dumb mistakes. For example, one was making a left-turn onto a four lane highway holding my fast food that I had just bought in one hand. I totaled my new car and wound up driving a used Cadillac. I always wanted a Cadillac but not that way. Who was at fault? me? God? or the Devil?
Also sometimes I have been very dense and as a result get caught in the same situation over and over. Was it my fault or the devil’s fault? I felt very strongly that I had to solve my own problems and often was confused in certain situations when I did not catch onto to what others’ wanted of me. I knew I was not meeting their standard’s but I did not know why. I was not getting their hints; but it was not malice on my part.
I have a little true story about me that illustrates this that I might have used in some other of my posts. My lady supervisor at a clinic told me that I had an odor problem. This was confusing to me because I was a regular bath taker, used deodorant, frequently changed my clothes, and washed those that needed it or sent them to the cleaners. Needless to say, I immediately either washed all my clothes or had them cleaned; but the odor persisted. It was very embarrassing and the staff felt like that I had some kind of problem that I wouldn’t admit like to being homeless or living in a dive and had no plumbing. Later I figured out that it was a perfume that I was wearing that didn’t mix well with my body chemistry. I stopped wearing it. Problem solved. But that never did connect with what the staff was thinking.
As a Christian, I latter learned to call on God especially for problems that I couldn’t solve and not to entirely depend on myself and view it was some kind of a test that I might fail. I felt that the devil always won in these cases. I had failed some kind of a test. I did in an indirect way (I didn’t ask for help); but I think I either had some kind of lesson to learn or I was inadvertently making the devil happy. Often it is the little things that bring us down. I don’t think the devil likes us to be happy, without serious worries, and confident that we are okay. What do you think?
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“GOOD” VS. “EVIL”
“GOOD” allows people to make choices and encourages them to do this. With the “GOOD” side, you have the right to make your own decisions (i.e. Mahatma Gandhi). 
The “EVIL” side does not encourage making choices. There is only one choice and that is the one that “EVIL” supports. They ignore or hide any information that does not support their side.-
“Let me see here,”
“GOOD” encourages acquiring knowledge about both “GOOD” and “EVIL” and everything in-between (which should mean it encourages debates) and wisdom is frequently the result.
“EVIL” does not encourage acquiring new knowledge that conflicts with any of the “EVIL’s” doctrines. “Evil” usually wants people to wear blinders just like horses used to do.
“GOOD” wants everyone to know all the truth and broadcasts it across the earth for everyone to know. -
The People Of The Lie Are Excellent Manipulators Because they Have No Consciences
“EVIL” maintains there is only one truth, it’s truth. They often portray themselves as exclusive societies (Scientology for example?). When their real goal may be to take over the earth and eliminate or subjugate those who don’t believe as they do and/or those they deem as inferior and incapable of absorbing and comprehending their beliefs.
“EVIL” often maintains secrecy and feels that they have something which enables them to have powers others don’t have.
Whose weapon is “doubt” “GOOD” or “EVIL”‘s? When “EVIL” competes with “GOOD” they try to encourage them to become doubters. 
“GOOD” wants the “Good News” to be broadcast to everyone and everywhere. “EVIL” often presents itself as an exclusive society.
Now can you tell the difference between “GOOD” and “EVIL”? Or do you want to or do you even care?
Which one, “GOOD” or “EVIL”, does not want you to be able to tell the difference between them and often presents itself in disguise as the opposite one?
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Devilish Behavior And The Las Vegas Shooting – A Hypothesis
There has been a lot of people looking for a motive for the shooter in the Las Vegas shooting. They haven’t found any accomplices and the shooter was a known moderately (by Vegas standards) successful gambler and he had openly lived that life before the shooting. He had gone on 12 or 13 cruises in the last year. He had several homes. It apparently took a lot of planning, the acquiring of specific knowledge, and the scoping out of other possible locations and events where he could have carried the same type of atrocity. He knew how to aim his semi-automatic weapons standing upon special platforms and he had made calculations to be sure he would aim the rifles in such a way as to enable him to kill or wound the most people.
Now you might not believe in the devil and/or in demon possession as described in the Bible but it seems to fit here. Could a bargain have been made with the devil which allowed him to live the successful life he did even though he started his life with a very low-level job? Also, his girlfriend said that he would struggle and thrash in bed (was he fighting with a demon or dealing with demon possession?). It also accounts for the extensive planning that he did, the knowledge that he acquired, and possibly the targets. Surely the devil would like to have him choose a target which would include a lot of lovers of country music which are often Christians? Maybe he didn’t need an accomplice if he already was involved in a pact with the devil or had opened himself to demon possession. As I present this hypothesis, I am calling upon the name of Jesus to rebuke the devil and his accomplices and to protect me from the devil.
The possibility of mental illness has been proposed, but it usually is not possible for a mentally ill person to be so successful in doing something that involved so much knowledge and preparation. Was he a narcissistic sociopath? a paranoid schizophrenic? Often mental illness leads to confusion and unrealistic ideas of special powers and also unrealistic ideas of how to carry out distorted ideas. Yes, they can desire to kill people. Maybe he had it in for Christians; but if he did, he told no one about it. There has so far been any evidence of any delusions. He was not the type of guy who stood out in any crowd and he was known as a frequent successful gambler but he did not cause any problems. He was not known to associate with anybody but his girlfriend and, if not her, prostitutes.
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Are Churches Ice-o-lating (Not Just Isolating) New members?
Do liturgies, choirs, scripture readings, professional musicians, limit those who get to participate and how they get to participate in the worship service? and also what makes the worship service meaningful?- Can members pray and talk about their needs and the world’s needs and their own religious experiences? Many churches still have all male elders. Sometimes they have limits on who can speak in church and what they can speak about such as only doctrinal and Bible-related subjects? Are the gifts of the Holy Spirit encouraged and even demonstrated in front of the congregation.
- Is individual spiritual growth encouraged and supported not just in the church and Bible study groups?
- Are potential new members and visitors encouraged and welcomed when they come?
- Have you observed how members interact and welcome people to the church? Are their welcomes warm and inviting or do new people feel ignored, frozen out, and rejected?
- Do church members gather in little groups and ignore others who also have something to talk about? Are children, the lifeblood of the church, not only not welcomed by the church members, but also their parents are sternly disciplined for not keeping them still, quiet, and also maybe even invisible?
Worship and fellowship should be a warm, welcoming experience for all members and possible new members. Membership in the church should not be kept to the special few who believe the right way, worship the right way and think that they are potentially free of sin, not only now, but also in the past and future.- Cold shoulders by longtime parishioners are not only not welcomed by nonmembers and but also by current members in the church such behaviour fails to spread the Word and Love of God. Church members should not be critical of others while excusing themselves.
- Everyone’s sins should be potentially forgivable. Prostitutes and tax collectors were accepted and blessed by Jesus.
- Worship should not be an ordeal but energy producing, love enriching, faith renewing, inspiring and making one ready to go out into the world and follow Christ’s footsteps.
- Attending church should be an inspiring and happy experience where one feels welcome and accepted. Where visitors and potential new members are not considered a problem; but a potential resource for the church and providing a chance for the church to see and meet their needs.
- Is this what atheists see in the church? If so, aren’t they right? What kind of an example of Bible-loving Christians are we giving to them? Hate or love. Acceptance or rejection? Solemnity or joyousness?
- Thanks to Bible teacher, Joyce Meyer for her inspiration and also thanks to the groups in which I’ve had loving and joyful experiences.
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The Little PEOPLE
Every time I think that the Little PEOPLE are getting ahead, I realise they aren’t. I was very happy with the recent election because I felt that the new administration was supporting the middle class that was no longer the middle class under the current, soon past administration.
What I have recently realised is that I have joined the lower class (once working class or even middle class in many situations). We are squeaking by on social security and disability payments (which have been borrowed from to pay other government expenses) and have to seek help like free food from The Master’s Hand locally. Also in this area, if you have farm income (that counts against you as it is considered income before farming expenses are taken out) in terms of getting any extra government help.
Most of us would contribute something to the economy if there was a way we could. Most of us would like to have a voice in the new administration. For example, most of Illinois voted for the new administration except for the heavily populated urban areas. But where is our voice? No one campaigned in our areas and we feel that no one has listened to our concerns. What do you think? Are there other areas of our country in the same shape?
Also who is the voice of the forgotten little people? On the network that supported the election of the new administration, we are not represented. They are again relying on experts who have no real life experience or it is so far in the remote past that they don’t remember it or so far removed from it, it doesn’t matter anymore.
Also, there is pressure on these experts, especially women, to conform to certain standards not representative of the men and/or do not reflect what ordinary people look like. It is nice for some of us to remain “young” and look youthful but is not the way most people look and it is easier to see the standards for men are less stringent than for women.
For example, most woman experts on this network look like they are ready to go to a cocktail party instead of a business occasion. Yes, the men are nicely and appropriately dressed but they don’t have to struggle as much as women do to appear appropriately presentable, youthful and beautiful.
When are the Little PEOPLE going to be represented? The overall wearing, wearing second-hand clothing, or in “high style” Wal-Mart, but often foreign made, clothing? We have a lot to say and we don’t have a lot we can do about our situations but suffer. Welfare often misses us and as our social security or retirement checks do not raise, but inflation and the cost of living does and as things cost more and more, we have to get by on less and less with little or no representation in or help from society or the government!
The Little PEOPLE do have something to say! We have learned something through experience. We do have “philosophical” discussions. We can see things others more fortunate and potentially more powerful don’t.
Certainly how Little PEOPLE experience life has something to say about the type of life we are promoting for all! Often as people do better and better economically, they tend to put people down who haven’t and consider their opinions useless and their motivations feckless! Also other people who have done well often think the same way and might make fun of those who don’t. How many Little People do you see in certain churches or certain social groups like the Elks? Nuff said.
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When Is A Compliment Is Not A Compliment? When Is Criticism Not Productive?
Criticism disguised as a compliment can be deadly as well as just plain mean and “snarky”. Many a fainting flower has sub combed to the projected hatred of others even when he or she doesn’t deserve it. One way is when a “put down” is disguised as a compliment. Such an act can permanently damage one’s life. How many people have stopped going to church when this is done by a “well-meaning?” individual? “My, that is such a nice outfit. Do you dress like this every day?”
A Concerned Pastor, Might He Have This Problem In His Church?
Churches are supposed to be places where well-meaning individuals want to bring more individuals to Christ. Or are they? Some people in churches like to think that they are God’s chosen “elite” where only those properly initiated into the ways of the church are allowed to belong. Membership seems to be by invitation only for those who will appreciate the selectiveness of their invitations and will protect and obey their canons. If looks could kill, some people could die when they enter churches like this.
Some church people feel that their criticism of others is well- meaning and will make others better Christians and they are only being helpful; but often there is an underlying current of hatefulness, righteous anger, and severe judgmentalism. When this is coupled with a victim’s underlying current of self-condemnation and guilt, it can be extremely damaging and make him or her feel unworthy of being a Christian and keep the person from ever going to that church or sometimes any church again.
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Some Beliefs That Keep You Down
That you have to control others or they will control you.- . That others can make you feel bad.
- That many people in this society (including you) are of little value.
- That only a dope gives to others not expecting to get anything in return.
- That you have to be what you have been conditioned to be from birth.
- That what you see, hear, or perceive in any way must be the same as everybody else.
- That the theories about life and the universe that others have are the only ways to view them.
- Sheep go where they are told to go, eat what is provided for them to eat, and ultimately give their lives so that somebody else doesn’t have to.
- That you are destined to be alone and you are lucky if you capture anybody’s attention, no matter how little and no matter how long.
- That those who think that they are supposed to control us, know more than we do.
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The Right To Celebrate The Holiday Of Your Choice
I have just as much right to put the “Merry” in Christmas and keep the Christ in Christmas as you have to take it out. You can say, “Happy Holidays”, instead or call it the Xmas season.
Freedom of speech is a two-way street. It does not protect just one kind of belief. It was ordained to protect the rights for all Americans, not just the Politically Correct (PC) ones. Have we forgotten that?
The American Civil Liberties Union has a strong bias in terms of what freedoms they will protect and they often protect one group’s freedoms and take away the freedoms of another group with an opposite or opposing point of view.
It seems like the American Civil Liberties Union is operating like the PC police and many people who are afraid of being taken to court by them will not say anything although it needs to be said.
When it becomes a war on Christmas, it takes all the merriment, fun, and joy out of celebrating it. I am noticing that stores are not decorating for Christmas as usual. I miss it. Yet, the stores still want people to buy Christmas gifts and decorations, religious or not.
There is a lot of paranoia about celebrating Christmas the old-fashioned way. It is a tradition in the United States of America. Now it seems like people are bending over backwards to facilitate celebrating the religious holidays of other religions.
There are a lot of Muslim converts in prisons forcing prisons to make changes (for example) in the diets of prisoners who are not Muslim. I don’t know if they purchase Kosher food and have special kitchens in which to prepare it for Orthodox Jews. Seventh Day Adventists also have diet restrictions which are part of their belief systems.
Now in our society, I can’t tell certain jokes either. We are not supposed to make fun of people who are different from us even though they might laugh too if they heard what we said. I make fun of myself and have a good sense of humor. I tell jokes about being disabled, being a “Red Neck,” and being just plain stupid sometimes.
What about all the silly Christmas songs? Will the American Civil Liberties Union come after them too.
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