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Centerpointe Research


Self Conscious, You Are Not Alone

rp_8779146668_6e5def7ac9_n.jpgSelf-conscious?  You are not alone.  In a new social situation, you may not be the main attraction.  You may be ignored, not on purpose, but because other people are greeting and talking with people that they know.  They may not be aware that they are ignoring you even if they invited you in the first place.

Why are we so self-conscious?  Well, we are the center of our own world and we often forget that we are not the center of some other person’s world.  Also we tend to be so critical in this society that we couldn’t possibly think that other people aren’t judging us.

In a new social situation, it may just be that it will take some time for you to fit in and for you to get the hang of it.  Everyone has been “the new kid on the block sometime”.   Celebrities often fall prey to the idea that everybody is always looking at them and they think that they want to be ignored, but really don’t.

Just as obnoxious is the person who thinks that everybody wants to hear what they have to say and they take over a group discussion or conversation and don’t give anyone else a chance.  I attend a lot of workshops and there always seems to be someone who thinks that their comments and questions are so important that they dominate the discussion showing how brilliant and erudite they are.  They don’t get the subtle hints from the audience that they ought to move on.

This can be very boring for the rest of the audience if the leader does not cut this person off after a reasonable amount of time or suggest that everybody might like to hear from someone else.  At local social occasions, there always is someone about whom people say there comes so and so again, let’s get out of here.

Sometimes it seems hard to strike a happy medium in these situations just because people tend to think that they are the center of attention even when they are being ignored, deliberately or accidentally.  Don’t be so self-conscious.  Pay attention to what is going on around you and see how you might fit in once you get the hang of it.  No, you are not the center of attention just because you are so awful or because you are so great.  Give other people a chance and move over.  When it is your turn, you’ll know it.  Just don’t remain clueless as to your real effect on a group.