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Chained Emotions

Do you have chained emotions?  Yes, you do.  chained-emotionsEvery time you get to feeling guilty, worthless, or hopeless when you look at something or think of something.  These are learned reactions and while they might have been appropriate when they first occurred, they are not helping you now.  I can leave the moment and ruin the day I am having when I do this.  I also can just let my imagination run away with me and after living in the past and reliving past disappointments, I can envision myself in the future having the same unfortunate things happening to me again.  No wonder I just can’t see any hope for me in my situation.  I can easily list the things that I can think of or see in my ordinary life or on TV or the internet that do this to me.  I have frustrating appliances that are on their last legs and feel extremely deprived because I don’t have new ones and anticipate the problems I will have when they “conk” out.

You have heard of self-fulfilling prophescies well I am creating them when I think this way.  I may feel bad when some “bad” thing happens but why does just the thought of something like that happen to elicit such a strong emotional response.  In psychology, it is called conditioning and it’s a learned response associated with a certain stimulus.  When this happens then whenever that stimulus appears again real or imagined, we automatically have that response.  What we focus on we get.  That is a self fulfilling prophesy.

Stop feeling what you don’t want to feel, stop being dragged down by past emotional reactions.  For example with a failing appliance, be thankful that it still works and lasted so long.  Be grateful for every extra load of dishes that get washed or cup of coffee that gets made.  Pretend this is not really your house so it doesn’t matter what the appliances are like.  Think of how much nicer the new appliances will be when you get them.  They will be spanking new, work perfectly, and save you lots of time.  You can get just what you want.  Go shopping but only with a positive attitude.  You know it pays to shop around.  Who knows you might find a bargain!  Remember that new car smell, the pristine appearance of a newly painted wall, how much fun you will have trying out a new appliance.  Focus on this not on that.

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Money And How You Think About It

american-currencyBecoming more mindful has led me to realize that the amount of money that something costs and whether it seems like too much or a real steal depends on what it is, who you are, and where you are.  I first began to think about this when I started watching HGTV and realized that what was considered a reasonable price for a house in one part of the country or the world was not reasonable in another part.  Decent-sized homes could be bought for $200,000 or less in some places, for $500,000 or less in others, and for over a million dollars in yet other places.  The same was true of rent which ranged from under $1000 to several thousand dollars a month.  The bigger prices were found not just in resort communities but also in suburban areas.highpricedpen

I am currently on a fixed income and am very money conscious.   I found that what I considered to be a good price for something depended on what category it fell in.  I found that I was the cheapest about clothes, hitting clearance racks and garage sales and usually spending under a few dollars usually no more than five or ten bucks; but  I found that I would  spend that much on eating out and on a very special occasion, I might double that.  It all dealt with what I allowed myself to spend even actually keeping a running total in my head.   Why is it more acceptable to spend more on laundry detergent than than on many grocery items?

You might not be on as tight a budget as I am and you may have to spend more to keep up appearances than I do.  Even the higher house prices don’t shock you and you may have already invested that much in a place to live.  What determines what seems reasonable to pay for one type of thing and not another?  Yes, this can be a matter of personal taste and the desire for quality in something you purchase.  But it does seem at least for me that I am willing to spend more on somethings than others.  How did I get that way?  Is it price fixing like the cost of a carton of pop?  Is it brain washing?  Is it due to propaganda?  What one person considers acceptable to pay for something may not be acceptable to another person.  How much of this is due to what is the usual price for something in a certain area and how much of this is due to what its really worth.  Or are things not intrinsically worth anything, except what you can get people to pay for them?

 

 

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Understanding and Accepting Handicaps Part III

As for being handicapped,I found that most people had made their places handicapped accessible, but not conveniently so; and a lot of places did not maintain them.  I was repeatedly faced with a button to open a bathroom door that was very heavy that did not work.  It was at the college where I was in a choir.  Usually the parking for someone is handicapped is not close to the front door.  I understand they have to put those long ramps there and that  was where were the parking was at the end of the ramp not the front door.  Also I find I have to use a quad cane to get to the shopping carts or electric  cars inside.  That is the most dangerous part of the trip for me.  It would be nice if carts, etc., could be easily accessible from your car.  Occasionally I flag someone down who has a cart or carts and ask them if I can have it for my trip inside.

This is the internationally recognized symbol ...

This is the internationally recognized symbol for accessibility (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

People can be very helpful and sweet out in public, but sometimes in crowded places they don’t look where they are going and make quick turns.  I am now at a stage where I could do without my cane if the place is not crowded and there are walls or furniture to hang on to if I need it.  At home I do without; but I am challenged by open spaces and rough ground, roads, and sidewalks and especially in the dark.  A lot of this stuff you don’t know until you are there.  Stairs and slopes each have there pitfalls.  I like to walk on a level surface and curbs and slopes challenge me.  Long flights of stairs are scarey (and they need railings or banisters for safety), more so going down than up.  Of course I use elevators, but they don’t always have them and I have not yet tried an escalator, but they have them in London if you want to use the underground.  I’ve been there.  That’s my story, don’t get me going I could talk for hours on this subject.  Did you learn anything that you didn’t know?

 

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