Take Your Own Advice! Nobody Else Can Use It So Well!

Pay attention sometime to what comes out of your mouth when you're counseling other people. The advice you hand out tends to say more about you than about whoever is receiving it. Done right, listening to yourself is a bit like catching your reflection and realizing the face staring back is your own.

Think about the faults in other people that get under your skin the fastest. Writing them down can be an uncomfortable exercise, because the list often doubles as a description of your own habits. So make the list anyway. Tape it inside a cupboard, stick it on the bathroom cabinet, or put it on a mirror you pass every morning, somewhere it will catch your eye on a regular basis.

You've probably heard someone complain, "I don't understand why nobody does something about that," when the thing they're describing is precisely what they themselves ought to be doing. The gap between the complaint and the complainer is usually the whole point.

Reading this with a smug little grin while mentally assigning it to a friend or relative misses the mark entirely. The person this is about is you. And the only behavior you actually have the power to change is also yours.

For me, the advice I keep failing to follow is simple: tell the truth. It's frequently the hardest thing I do, because I'm afraid of rejection and convinced I won't cope with it. Which raises an odd question. Why do any of us turn around and reject other people when rejection is the exact thing we can't stand being on the receiving end of?

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