Are Private Parts Not Private Anymore?
Think back to childhood, when you were taught that your private parts stayed private. The only exceptions were a parent, or maybe a doctor with a parent standing right there in the room. As you got older the message shifted a little: once you were an adult, sharing was a choice you got to make, and you were free to say no to anyone you didn't want to share with.
That world looks different now. Other people's private parts turn up on the street, in magazines, across the internet, in the ads that interrupt whatever you were doing. Saying "I don't want to look at that, I don't want to see you that way, and if you keep going then one of us needs to leave" has gotten strangely hard to do.
You are still allowed to feel grossed out, and you are still allowed to refuse. I spent a long career as a psychologist and figured I had run into every possible thing a person could do, that nothing could surprise me or get under my skin. Even so, if looking at something isn't part of my job, I can call it inappropriate, change the channel, walk out, or, when it's my own space, ask the person to leave and maybe not come back.
So the question becomes: appropriate or not? Wanted or not? Your private parts belong to you. They exist for your own satisfaction and enjoyment. All of that gets ruined when someone decides to use another person's body purely for their own pleasure, and will say whatever and do whatever it takes to pull it off.
When that happens, feelings can split off from the event itself, and the victim may end up with no clear memory of what occurred. That detachment is a defense, sometimes part of post-traumatic stress disorder. It leaves the person unable to pull the experience back up and work through it, and it can throw off healthy sexual development down the line.
The cost to the victim runs high. And the offender? For as long as they can keep getting away with it, they tend to, reaching more victims and finding worse ways to do it. Call it an addiction if you like. A lot of it comes down to whatever the offender has to do to get aroused and reach orgasm. Much like an alcoholic needing larger amounts of alcohol, the offender takes bigger risks and inflicts more harm. The abuse can grow more frequent and more intense over time.