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Centerpointe Research

Do You Have to Win?

Young Couple in Relationship Conflict

Young Couple in Relationship Conflict (Photo credit:

Why does every fight have to end with someone winning and someone losing?  Why is the ultimate goal of every argument is to have it your way?  Women often feel it is this way with men.  Why do some women say, “Yes dear”, but don’t really mean it.  No one likes to lose and to give in without a fight; but what if the conclusion is foregone and the fight, useless.

What if the goal is to make up your own mind and then what you decide is right for you or do you feel that you have to capitulate when having a disagreement in order to end it?  The word disagreement in another form is disagreeable.  Or as the grandchildren would say, “Not nice.”  The resulting feelings are anger, fear, anxiety,  grief, or sorrow.   Doesn’t make you feel good does it or if it does make you feel good, how does it make the other person feel?  Bad?  In these fights, someone always ends up s… out of luck and probably ready for another fight in the future.  Is that why people often bring up old grudges when talking about a current problem?


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