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Don’t Let Your Frustration with Being Frustrated Lead To More Frustration

You are a mechanic and you break your favorite and most useful tool and now you can’t finish your project until you run to the store and buy a new one, but the stores are closed.  How frustrating is that!  Very frustrating; but what if you get mad and throw your next favorite tool and it bounces up and hits the car that you were working on and dents it  Initially you had just one problem and now you have two or three.  Your favorite son comes in the garage door and you yell, “Get out of here before I take your favorite toy away”.

Phew, this is disgusting and leads to more problems than the one you started out with.  Sometimes just walking away from the problem if you can do this helps cut down on the amount of frustration you feel.  It might be difficult to just walk away if you can.   You can take some time to cool down and then seek help.  You can ask for advice from someone or you can just give yourself some time out.  Maybe you will think of another solution right away or you might start brainstorming some possible solutions.  Or you could give up the job and let somebody else do it.  Especially if you think about the possible cost of buying that new tool and trying to fix the dent yourself.

Women seem to have a different way of handling such situations  They almost immediately start to put themselves down and during the litany of saying such terrible things, they don’t want to touch the problem again.  This means the problem won’t get solved.  The problem becomes such a bad and scary thing they don’t want to face it.  Then they think about how others might think of them if they knew he or she was having this problem.  Also, he or she might think of the cost involved in seeking help for the problem.  They are feelings of low self-esteem, anger, being put down by someone else without them offering to help, or if they do offer to help, she or he feels put down.

A good personal rule to observe is don’t let one problem lead to another.  People sometimes don’t see clearly when they are so upset with the frustration they are dealing with.  Sometimes people wind up with more problems that they wouldn’t have caused if they waited and thought about it.  Frustration happens to everyone and don’t get upset about it happening to you.  If you are a Christian, you should know that things didn’t always work out right for prophets, Kings, and the disciples in the Bible.    They had big problems and yours can seem small by comparison.  Think of Job who lost everything but eventually got it back when he didn’t expect to get it back.

Of course, you call break things, get mad at somebody who really didn’t have much to do with the problem, walk away and never come back, become suicidal, break up a relationship with the person who really didn’t have much to do with the problem, destroy the things that you were working on which initially didn’t have much wrong with them, etcetera,  etcetera.

Give yourself some time off if you can so you can see it clearer later.  Do some self-reinforcement by thinking about problems you solved in the past and/or, thinking of someone who could help you without putting you down.  Put a stop to the negative thinking you might have started.  Give yourself some time out.  Don’t let one problem lead to another if it didn’t have to do so.

 

 

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