Keep Your Comments to Yourself, or When Criticism Isn't Productive
Well, shame on you. And no, not every nun actually behaves that way, but you know the type of correction I mean.
When somebody hands me a comment about what I should do or how I should think, one of two things is usually true. I already know what they're telling me, or I have no interest in hearing it. Neither case leaves me grateful.
So what was the point? Were you being kind? Trying to straighten me out? Maybe you wanted to make certain I had some piece of information so I wouldn't go and embarrass myself, or embarrass you by association.
Or, if we're being honest about it, maybe you wanted a moment to display how much more you know. And there I was, standing right in front of you, a ready-made audience for the lesson.
That's the part worth sitting with for a second. Before a correction like that leaves your mouth, pause. A comment aimed at me often says far more about the person delivering it than it does about me.
The comments that actually mean something are different. They lift both people at once, the one speaking and the one listening. Those are the ones built out of some real affection, and you can feel the difference the moment they land.