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Opening A New Window Onto My Life

You may have been wondering where I have been recently.

I am opening a new window in my life. I have been diagnosed as BiPolar and though many years have passed in my life I had only diagnosed my self as having depression. (I was told that was what my grandma had at one time in her life). One night after having an unusual fall a couple of days previously I called my own ambulance. I felt weird, unnatural and thought I might be having a stroke. Very recently my sister-in-law who is almost ten years younger than me had been diagnosed as having a stroke when she thought she had had the flu.
I felt oddly weak and had pain in my arms which I had attributed to wearing long sleeves that day. I talked rapidly to the EMTs and I thought that I talked very fast as I had several things to tell them that I thought might be cogent. This could have been labeled as pressured speech as I realized later as I thought the incident over in my bed in the hospital before either the doctor or the social worker came to see me and brought me their new diagnosis.

This could have been labeled at one time as a mini nervous breakdown. I surprised my family as I tearfully told the doctors in the emergency room that I couldn’t go home. I was paranoid and felt that if they didn’t agree with my wanting to go to the hospital in the first place, that they wouldn’t welcome me home with loving arms. The doctor decided to keep me for one more brain test the next day which ultimately proved negative.

There my doctor talked to me and then sent the social worker in to talk to me and this is where the word bipolar was first used as a diagnosis. They wanted to start me on medication while I was in the hospital. They were considering me for a swing bed in a new unit fostering the development of needed skills before a patient went from hospital to home. I also fit this placement because I almost lost most of my physical skills when I first was sent to my room. That presented another conundrum Because I was driving a car to and from town the day I was admitted.

I do not yet have an answer to the question of how I lost all those skills then and later when I went on a home visit and then when I came home the next day. I was “weak as a kitten” and I wasn’t faking it. I will join you later when I have more information about my new (to me) diagnosis.

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