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Centerpointe Research

Second Guessing

(Photo credit: the|G|™)”]housewife [derogation]It was part of my upbringing and now I do it myself.  When I am second, third, even fourth guessing my decisions, I don’t get anything done.  There is a human dynamo around here that must not second guess herself.  She does as much in one day as three ordinary people would do.  God, bless her.

Anticipating people’s behavior is another problem.  I get out of the way before someone else tells me and we sometimes bump heads because of this.  Second guessing this way is part  of a learned pattern aimed making the doer more secure.  Security is one of our basic needs.  Housewives and moms stayed home in the past and depended on their husbands to survive.  If the husband was unhappy, everybody was unhappy.  He even might abandon them to their own resources.  Not too far to from  homelessness, is it?

You can never second guess what a person will say or do if you ask them for their opinion.  Confrontations don’t happen sometimes because of an ongoing conversation in the head with me, myself, and I discussing what the other person will say, how they might react, and what this would do to me.Second guessing leads to low self-esteem.  The person doesn’t trust him or her self.  He or she may focus on all the mistakes he or she made and not on the things that turned out right.  It also results from a regime as a kid where criticism is over-utilized.

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