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Centerpointe Research

When Not To Get Pregnant

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infant (Photo credit: soupboy)

Grand-babies are wonderful; but don’t let your parents convince you to have a child when you are not ready.  You are usually not ready when you have just gotten married.  Marriage takes some adjustment and you don’t need the added stress of a newborn.  Maybe you have been living together and you think that you know each other.  I am just suggesting that you think over such a decision and not get pregnant when you aren’t ready.  The first year or so of marriage can be rocky as two independent people with their own views of life work on their compatibility issues.

It is better not to get pregnant when other major changes are occurring in your life.  Moving, acquiring a mortgage, starting a new job, going back to school, all of these can cause additional stress in your life.  Having a baby is a major stress-or.  The more stress-ors that you have to deal with, the more likely it is that you might not be able to cope.  Some people even get physically or mentally sick and/or collapse.

Having a baby is sometimes not all rainbows and smooth sailing.  Things can go wrong that you have not planned on happening such as the loss of the baby during the pregnancy or soon after.  Mother’s health can be effected.  Baby’s healthy development can be a problem.   Being pregnant may make a mother very sick and, God forbid, even threaten her life.  Child birth is not always uncomplicated for mother or baby.  After the birth, a mother can develop postpartum depression.  Mother or child may have problems after the birth and need time to recover sometimes requiring a protracted hospital stay.

Last, but not least, when your marriage is in trouble, having a baby won’t solve the problem,  It may make the situation worse.  It will also complicate the situation if you end up getting a divorce.  Sharing child custody is almost always a bone of contention in a divorce or separation. Having a child not only limits the things you can do before but also after a divorce.  For example, you may not be free to move out of state to be with family.

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